cerita emosi.

[deleted]

my mum said : adik sabar je la ea. baru baru kerja ni memang kena banyak sabar

i deleted everything in this entry because i don't want others to misjudge what i'm trying to say. well. yeah. growing up too fast is suck. my body cant cope. my mental gone insane. my emotion all round up altogether. my health trying to ruin everything. and finally after 11 years struggling among all other people's judgment and doubting my ability (which i dont know what is it) , this is the hardest. at the point where i can understand why some of the smart people can get suicide. 

but. 

this is one path of the Qada' i chose, and happen. Allah make it this way, so i can help my parent faster. i can buy all good stuff by myself - which makes it more valuable than ever. i can stabilize my life faster. i hope, i wish, i pray. Allah will let everything He want. 

however. 

i will stick with my decision, i wont let my kid follow my step. i want them live in moment. life is not a race. take one step at the time. embrace their life more. be mature as time passes. friends are important. super important. i dont want them to live alone. like me, at present. 

sadis.